I think I'll go back to bed.
Ok, not really. I won't go back to bed. But I did successfully depress myself.
First I have 3 containers of fabric in dye to rinse out. After Aries decides to move off my arms again. Goofy boy is trying to cheer me up, methinks..I pissed Mark off abit. He asked if I was still coming over to Dale and Kat's for dinner...I replied that I never said I was going over for dinner. He gat all pissy and asked if I was going to come over for dinner. I said I hadn't decided yet.
I did say I wasn't going over there anymore. How hard is that to understand? I could careless what she's cooking for dinner. I said I wasn't going over there, I won't go over there. Deal with it.
But that's not what I depressed myself about.
People are always telling me, not so much anymore, that I need to enter quilt shows, I need to join this club, or that group, etc..
But then I look up quilt shows on the net, and what I see depresses the shit out of me. I enter local shows(1 last year, 2 this year) and compared to everyone elses's entries, I feel so damned out of place.
For example- this is one of the B IG quilt shows
- check out the quilts along the top there..
I don't do stuff like that. Compared to things like that, my stuff is so damned plain, I'm surprised anyone wants it. Oh wait, outside of my family and the one person who commisioned a piece, NO ONE DOES. (Seriously, outside of GIVING AWAY pieces to my family, and the one commisioned piece, I've yet to sell any on Etsy or anywhere else.)
This was last year's Mountain Comforts Quilt Show, in Ferrum, Va-
Mine's the dark blues, greens and yellow one in the center-ish. Want more examples of how much I don't fit in? Here.. a couple more...
(Did I mention that the person who made this piece was FOURTEEN??!?? 14!!!)
And that's just a few. (I'd link the entire album, but I had to make the entire Photobucket account 'private' because PhotoFuckIt is a pain in the ass sometimes about screenshots.)
Then I get this month's issue of QuiltArt
in the mail, and it makes me depressed.
And I see stuff like this
(second one down), which is so damned similier, in idea and execution to my unfinished piece
, that it disgusts me.
And certainly doesn't make me want to finish the damned thing now.
But anyway.. I was browsing around the net, looking up quilt shows for next year, that possibly, maybe, don't require me to be a member of SAQA
, or any other 'exclusive' club
, and I see stuff on the websites , such as this one
that only serve to further discourage me, because I don't do quilts or artquilts like that.
Call me insecure, call me a coward and yeah, I'll probably agree with you. But honestly, something like these
, is too busy for me. And I realise that alot of people like 'busy', crowded looking quilts. But I don't, and I don't like making things like that.
I prefer simple, letting the fabric tell the tale with the quilting or beading embellishments being a side story, not the main focus. I don't like busy, I CAN'T DO busy, I've tried. Yet, everytime I look at something , it's got myriads of colors, hundreds of embellishments, and the fabric itself is nearly lost in the chaos.
Hel, I can't even do whole cloth quilts like this
et alone 'thread painting'. I know, I know, it takes years to get that good. But then Ihear about people who've just started out and are being accepted into big shows, and even sometimes winning, and they look like they've been doing artquilts for fucking years.
So I guess I'll just putz along like I've been doing and keep doing what works for ME, some day, my style will come back around again, I guess.
In the meantime, I have fabric to rinse out.