Wolf's Den

Keep in mind- they aren't *quite* this dark, they're a tad lighter/brighter than the photo. Still nice rich colors though. I'm in love with them.}:)




The first 14 are dyed. 6 are stenciled, 3 ready to be heat set, the other 3 have to air dry/cure for 24 hours, then heat set. Hope to have the rest stenciled by tonight, so I can heat set them tomorrow.

They still need to be signed. Then the first 3 will be listed on Etsy, in the Shop, as reserved listings as per the list I have of who wants what.

The second run of Scarves was delayed by weather in Ca., so won't be here until Monday, whereupon they need washing, rinsing and soaked in soda ask solution overnight before they're dyed.

Those ones will be a pewter/silver stencil instead of gold, as they are the second run. 12 are still available in that run. Of course, if there are those of you who reserved one from the first run, who would prefer a pewter/silver one instead of gold, let me know. I know of one person off hand that wants one.

Technogoddess- you wanted one that was more burgandy/cranberry with as little rust orange tones as possible, yes? I think I have one that is perfect for you, if so.

If you have changed your mind and do not want one any longer, please let me know. If you want one, but can't get it immediately, that's fine, I have 2 others who want one but funds are tight, I can still do a reserved listing for you. I just ask that you please do not forget about it, and please purchase it within a reasonable amount of time(I'm sure we can all figure out what a reasonable amount of time would be}:) In otherwords, not 6 months or a year later.}:P). If unable to do so, let me know.

Thanks everyone, for both your patience and your generosity. Remember 50% of each sale, including s/h, goes to Akita Rescue in Dante's name.

I have at last count, 3 gold, and 9 silver left in each run. Depending how fast these last 12 scarves go, I may do a third run in copper. Again, only 14 scarves, same conditions.

I have a craving. One that will never, ever be satisfied.

I want to scritch Dante's head, right between her ears.

I want to do this so badly, that my fingers started twitching.

Yeah.

Tomorrow will be 3 weeks exactly.



16 Memorial scarves have been reserved. I've got friends who haven't had much time to be online, just now finding out about Dante.

Then there's the friend on my LJ Friends List, who's going through losing a second pet and companion in as many years. To cancer, once again.

It seems like an awful lot of people are losing or have lost pets in just this month. It doesn't seem fair, somehow. Spring is supposed to be for renewal, not loss. Dear Life- You got it backwards, please stop now, ok?

A friend, Jodi from ARMAC, said to me yesterday, in an email, "Sometimes it just jumps up and bites you", referring to the loss of a beloved pet. It usually hits her, she says, in regards to losing a dog or a foster, when it's feeding time, and she realizes they aren't there anymore, again. It's those times, you need to just be good to yourself.

Monday, getting Dante's urn, made it all seem so final, so definite. I curled up on the bed around the box it was wrapped up in bubble wrap and still in. That was a Not So Good Day.

Tuesday, I woke up and was watching the Weather Channel before heading to the store, and briefly thought, it'd be a good day for Dante to spend sometime outside. Then it hit me again, that she's gone. That was a Not So Good Day.

Reading about Baxter this morning, made me cry again. Today is a Not So Good Day.

Tomorrow doesn't look much better.

Even with the 2 cats and 2 rabbits, it seems so damned empty here.

I miss her. I want her back so damned bad.

Because I cannot say no. Heh. Seriously, ask Mark why I'm working 4 days this week, in a row.

The initial 14 scarves were claimed in 2 days, for all intents and purposes. I think.

Then a good friend just now found out about Dante passing and asked for one. Another friend, whose funds are tight, really wanted one too.

So Thursday, I will be ordering another 14+ scarves.

Now, to distinguish between the first set and the second set, the first set will be gold Akitas, the second set will be silver Akitas.

This is what I have thus far-

Goneawayquilting(Judy) from Etsy- 1

Jodi from ARMAC- 2

Gab and Riley- 1

Technogoddess- 1

Maetang- 1

Starsong- 1 (yes, I know, funds are tight, but I can still reserve list it and you can get it when you have the money)

Karen from LJ- 2

Similiarmistake- 1

Stef_TM- 1

Rottnpagan- 1? I think you wanted one, yes?

Moon from LJ- 1

Dansr- 1

I think I'm missing someone. If you want one, and your name isn't here, please let me know. Otherwise, I am mistaken, and only 13 have been claimed. Which leaves one of the original 14 left. The original 14 are claimed.

I will still order more and do a second run in silver though, since the response to the first run has been so well received. Akita Rescue thanks you.}:)

I'm trying to keep track of how many are claimed already.

Well, I've lost count.

So I need a favor... If you want a scarf, please leave me a comment on this post in my InsaneJournal. makes sure to say how many if you want more than one.

Remember, there's only 14, so it's first come first serve. If all 14 are claimed prior to the actual listing, I will do individual listings for each of you with the number of scarves you requested. I'll still do individual listings for the ones requested/reserved, but the extra will go up in one bulk listing.

Thanks!
Edit- ALL 14 scarves have been reserved. Thanks!</a>

I got the 100% Silk Charmeuse blanks last Sat. Pulled out the dyes and realised, I did not have near enough of 2 of the colors for all 14 scarves. So I had to order more. They should arrive today.

The Akita stencils arrived today as well. They look great. Nice, heavy mylar, so they'll last quite awhile. Just need to decide whether to do all gold stencils, or all silver, or half in gold, half in silver.



That's the original scarf, in the colors I will be using. This one is 100% Silk Habotai, which is lighter and filmier than the Silk Charmeuse, so the colors on the Silk Charmeuse will be deeper and richer, I hope. The Charmeuse is heavier like the stonewashed (Sueded) Crepe De Chine Silk scarves, only, instead of a matte finish, one side is a glossy finish. Should take the stencil beautifully.



Close up of the colors. Remember, they will be darker and richer on the Silk Charmeuse.


J called and asked if I'd come in to do paperwork for her, so she could have a vacation for a few days next week, Mon-Thurs, and Mark's parents are coming in next Friday. So, unless I can get one or two done this Sat (I have the Blue Ridge Quilt Show on Sun), it may be the first week of July before they are listed on Etsy.

However, I can do reserved listings if need be, AFTER I get at least one or two dyed. I say this because I know a few of you expressed interest. While I have no illusions that they'll sell out as fast as I list them, I hope to at least sell half of them.

The price will be $30.00 each, plus S/H. 50% of EACH SCARF SOLD, including S/h, will go to Akita Rescue. Whether that's all to one Rescue group, or spread out among several, I'm not sure yet. It will depend on how many sell, honestly.

They will be 100% Silk Charmeuse Scarves, 8"x54", hand dyed in my own unique dye method, hand stenciled with an Akita on each end. One end will be hand signed by me, with a paint marker, for durability (and to match the color of the stencil).

You will note, they are also less than the normal price. This is in the hopes of selling the majority of them, and in no way diminishes the quality of the work.

And just cause I can...



Aries was sitting on the arm of the couch, watching Dante, as she slept, the day before she passed.

Feels like it's been longer, honestly.

Today I go to the vet to pick up her ashes. Mail hasn't run yet, but I'm hoping the urn comes today.

I got the scarves in for Dante's Remembrance Scarves. Had to order more of 2 of the colors of dye, as I don't have near enough. That should be here tomorrow. Still waiting on the stencils. Still waiting on my Abney Park cd, that I ordered nearly a month ago... oh wait, wrong post, sorry.

Waiting... yeah, I'm doing alot of that lately.

After Chickenshoot's generous donation on behalf of her adorable Boston Terriers, Angus and Acorn, I was at a loss as to what to say to thank them enough.

This morning, I logged in and found that Jodi from ARMAC has generously donated towards Dante's Urn.

Again, I am at a loss for how to properly thank her and her menagerie.

Mind you, I don't ask for donations. I'm one of those people who find it extremely hard to ask for help even when I know I should. I get it from my Dad, I think.}:P So these acts of generousity and kindness out of the blue, like what Sylrayj did a few years back(see, I never forget, either.}:P), out of the blue? Completely blow me away.

It's been a week since Dante-Inu passed. It's been a rough week. But things like this? Remind me of the goodness still left in the world. And somewhere, Dante is laughing at all this.

Thank you doesn't seem like enough.

Someday I hope I can return the favor.

I'm sure you know what I'm referring to. }:)

It's the random acts of kindness such as this, that get a person through the rough patches.

Lots of hugs and treats,

-Wolf

Sat, Mark emptied her food bowl and water bucket. I couldn't do it. He asked what I wanted to do with the bowl, I said I wanted to keep it. We'd need it for the next Akita after all.

The bro in law and sis in law came over, with Mikayla. She'd hand drawn me a sympathy card, with a rendering of Dante-Inu inside. It made me tear up again.

I had a photo of her, from 2 years ago, when she was here and was petting Dante. I framed it up for her, so she could set it on her dresser next to Memom's photo. I told Kat it was HER photo, as the first time I gave Mikayla a photo, it was of the 4 of us (Mark, Dale, Kat and I) and somehow, Kat got it in her head that it was for all of them, when it was for Mikayla. Oh well.

Mark took care of any scraps, possibly so I wouldn't be at a loss as to what to do with them anymore, not having Dante-Inu here to give the steak bits to now.

Sun, we did nothing. He made me an omelet and we were basically lazy. I've hung her collar with her tags, on a peg on the shelf with my more expensive rocks and crystals. I've gotten into the habit of touching it when I walk by, as it's right by the kitchen doorway, in the mornings. It helps a little bit.

I still haven't dreamed about HER. I've dreamed about Akitas in general, but none that have her coloring. I think, that because I did get to say goodbye, because she went peacefully, that's why she's not really hanging around. The first few nights, possibly to make sure I was ok, but now? I can't feel her here. Thursday and Friday, I'd catch a whiff of her scent, that distinctive dog fur smell, but by Sat, it was gone. Now? I can't even sense it. The want/need to open the back door to let her in is fading too.

I finally moved the lead today. I coiled it up and took it to the top of the hill, where the other end of the run line is. I scouted a spot to plant a Wisteria and start a small memorial garden around Nyx's grave, and where I plan to scatter some of Dante's ashes. There's already a Clematis there, and Ivy as well as Honeysuckle. It's surrounded by Oaks as well.

We watched a movie last night and one of the character's last names was 'Phoenix'. I said to Mark, 'Phoenix would make a good dog's name.' He replied, 'yes, it would.' And it felt right. I looked at the photos of Dante, laughing and with that Akita smile and actually felt the first, tiny bit of peace in 4 days.


A heads up for those of you who love my scarves. I'm planning Remembrance Scarves' in her Honor. There will be a limited run* of 14 scarves, of 100% Silk Charmeuse, using my unique style of dyeing, with an Akita hand stenciled on the ends.

They will be at a reasonable price, lower than my regular scarves, and 50% of the proceeds from each sale will go to Akita Rescue in Dante-Inu's name. I hope to have them done, at least the first few, by the end of the month. First come, first serve.

When I have them ready, I'll post a message with the link.

I have a silk habotai scarf here, wrapped around my Singing Bowls, in Dante's Spirit colors. I will take a photo of it, so you all will have an idea of what the colors will possibly be.

*A single scarf will be dyed up, not necessarily in the same colors, but with the Akita hand stenciled on the ends, and placed for sale at the same price as these will be, with 100% of proceeds going to Akita Rescue, every November 10th, Dante-Inu's Birth Day. These too, will be special and first come, first served only, as only one a year will be offered up at that time.


I think she'd have liked that.

(Please be aware, that I will not be crossposting every entry to LiveJournal, it will be ceasing by the end of the month, and you will have to come to InsaneJournal to read more.)

I dreamed about Akitas Thursday night. Not a single one looked like her.

I swear she was here Friday night.

I heard her sneeze and the bed moved like it used to when she was sleeping at the foot, on the floor, and moved, causing the bed to move. It even woke Aries up. Mark just said ok.


The hardest part is the mornings. When I get up and go downstairs and she's not there. Or maybe it's when I'm standing in the kitchen and suddenly want to open the back door because Dante needs to be let in. Or maybe it's when I first go to bed, right before I go to sleep and realize, she's really gone.

Then there are the moments when I'm not doing anything, when my mind isn't preoccupied that I think about how I'll never run my fingers through her fur anymore. Never see her beautiful face again.

I know it gets easier, but right now... I just want my puppy back.

This was the last photograph I took of my Dante-Inu. Weds afternoon.



I felt compelled to take this. Mark said, 'you need to work through it in your own way.' And he's right, like usual.


Thank you, to each of everyone of you who've sent emails, messages, left comments, or simply thought about us, and offered up a prayer, whathaveyou. There's too many to thank each and every one, and I lost count of how many came through, not that I was counting to begin with. The generousity of people you don't even really know beyond the Internet can be staggering. Random acts of kindness made me cry all over again.

I've got hundreds of photographs, but not one can ever really take her place. Some day, I know, she'll guide a new four legged Akita friend my way. And even in the midst of all this pain and sorrow, I truly do look forward to that day.



Rest easy, puppergirl, you deserve it.

Dante-Inu
November 10, 1993- June 5, 2008

A brief update as to what I'm doing lately...

• 17:33 If I can make it through today, I think I'll be ok. The first day is always the hardest. Thanks to everyone who's sent messages/emails. #

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She's gone. My beautiful girl is gone.

She didn't eat all day.

I ended up dumping the food we gave her this morning, thoroughly cleaning her bowl and fixing her completely fresh. She's finally eating.

I forgot to put the babygate up when I came upstairs after the Shelter trip. So imagine my surprise when I walked out of the bedroom and found her sleeping in the hallway. She managed to come upstairs without a sound. Usually I can hear her tags jingle. This time, nothing.

We're still giving her , her meds- the Synovi and Soloxine, stretching them out as much as we can until next weekend. I've added half an Excedrin Back and Body every few days. It seems to help with her being able to get up easier and on her own. I know it's not really good for her, but I figure, if it helps make her more comfortable in her final days, then it's worth it.

The weather doesn't help any. I have no idea how hot it got today, but it's 81 degrees (F) now, and is expected to be 96 degrees tomorrow and Friday. She doesn't really like the heat anymore.

My mom in law found a 'Keepsake Urn', that she's bought and is bringing down when they come down to pick up Mikayla for the summer. The funny thing? She bought the brown one, which is similier in color to the one we're getting for Dante.}:) And she picked it out before I found mine.

The Akita I evaluated for ARMAC at the local shelter, reminded me strongly of how Dante was when she was that age. And the Akita smiles... I think I'll miss that the most. And the 'Akita Dancing.'

But honestly? As sweet and beautiful as she was, I had absolutely no wants to bring her home. Not right now. When will I be ready for another Akita? I don't know, but Mark said he'd let me know when I was ready.

And I believe him.

This one.

We are also considering a few to buy for when the Boys decide to pass on, many years down the road.

This was taken 3?4? years ago, at the top of the hill. Ok, so all my photos of Dante are my favorite photos.

She's started having issues with one of her back legs not cooperating fully yesterday. Mark says it was as if the leg was a asleep and she tried walking on it, it collapsed beneath her.

She's not doing much better today, wobbly, even fell as she was trying to go outside to go to the bathroom.

Her appetite HAD started picking up last week. Today, she's barely eaten.

So we've been putting the baby gate up at the bottom of the stairs, to keep her from attempting to go up them and falling. I've been scarce on the net lately, because, today especially, I've been with her.

We spent some time together outside while I planted my new Irises, Callas and Tuberose. I got a photo of her in the shaded sun.

This afternoon, I've been sitting downstairs with her, watching TV, working on a chainmaille cuff for my dad for Father's Day, and generally hanging out with her. She's been sleeping next to the couch or between the coffee table and Mark's chair.

I think she knows it's almost time and is getting ready to go. I'm still holding out hope that she'll go on her own and I won't have to go through with that final choice.

I decided to go with the dark green and blue ceramic urn for her as well. It fits her better than any of the others. My sister in law agrees, as does Mark.

They're coming over on Sat with Mikayla, so they can say goodbye and I can talk to Mikayla about Dante going to live with Great Meme, as Mikayla called her (Memom, Mark's mom's mom, who died April 10, 2007).

We're taking it one day at a time now, just enjoying the time we have left.