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Calling all bibliophiles...

Feb. 17th, 2009 at 2:58 PM
EDIT- COMMENTS ARE NOT BEING FORWARDED TO MY EMAIL, SO THERE MAY BE A DELAY IN MY RESPONSE TO YOUR REPLIES.

I don't get it.

Over the past month or so, I've read several entries about people combining books with their Significant Other, 'finally'. Somehow, this seems to denote either a major stepping stone in a relationship or a huge breakthrough. It appears to mean that they now consider the relationship to be permanent, and that they are officially 'together'.

Today's entry that leads me to question why this is so significant is here. Yes, Mindy Klasky, the author of the Glasswright series.

I don't get the whole 'keep our books separate ' deal. I don't understand why this whole merging of the books is such a big deal, and when did it suddenly become a major step in a relationship?

When Mark and I first moved in together, we combined EVERYTHING. I had the majority of the books between us, mostly due to having more room in my barracks room than he did. It never once occurred to either of us to keep our books separate. Combining them was the natural thing to do.

Yet, for some reason, it's become this THING that occurs in a relationship, something that let's you know it's for real and true.

Why? When did this happen?

When did BOOKS and combining them/not combining them become a measure of how long or well a relationship will last or be? Isn't the fact that you moved in with the person enough of a sign? Wouldn't the fact that you said yes to the question of marriage be enough? Wouldn't the years together after said marriage be enough proof?

We've been together 16 years this past Sunday. We've been married 15 years this coming August. We have, at last count, 1463+ books. I say plus because several new ones are enroute.

I cannot imagine never combining our books. I don't understand why this became a measure of a relationship.

Do you? If you haven't combined books with your Significant Other, why not? What's stopping you from doing so? What made it something 'special'? What gave it such meaning? Is it a sense of finality? Of permanence? What?

The MAIN Question is this- WHY did it become such an important step in a relationship to combine books?

I just don't get it.
Tags: ,
mood: contemplative
music: Apocalyptica- 'Quutamo'

Comments

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[info]geographile.blogspot.com
Feb. 17th, 2009 02:05 pm (UTC)

it's "none of the above" for me

It's just an ease thing. We read quite different books. I can find mine more easily if they're not mixed with his, and vice versa.
[info]wolfsilveroak
Feb. 17th, 2009 03:18 pm (UTC)

Re: it's "none of the above" for me

So do we. We read VASTLY different books.

yet ours have been combined from the day we moved in together.

It makes no sense to have books seperated to me. If it's supposed to be an ease in finding a certain book, well, that still makes no sense, because you can always sort by style of book, author, alphabetize, etc.

Heck, ours are mixed up and I still know where nearly any given book is at any given time.
[info]geographile.blogspot.com
Feb. 17th, 2009 03:38 pm (UTC)

Re: it's "none of the above" for me

We'd be combining them *just* for the sake of combining them, which makes no more sense to be than keeping them separate just for the sake of keeping them separate, which we don't do. I can see reasons for either combining them or keeping them separate, but doing either for its own sake doesn't make sense to me. I need more reason than that.
[info]wolfsilveroak
Feb. 18th, 2009 12:31 pm (UTC)

Re: it's "none of the above" for me

I can understand keeping books pertaining to your job/art/whathaveyou seperate. THAT at least makes sense.

But books read for pleasure? Why? Where's the sense in that? I don't get it either.}:P
(Anonymous)
Feb. 17th, 2009 02:22 pm (UTC)

Regalbeads

I find this odd as well...our books naturally sit together on a shelfs...but it did not make our life together more or less permanent, how ridiculous
[info]wolfsilveroak
Feb. 17th, 2009 03:20 pm (UTC)

Re: Regalbeads

Yeah, see I don't understand how it became so important to a relationship, really. And no one has been able to tell me why it became so important either.
[info]geographile.blogspot.com
Feb. 17th, 2009 03:39 pm (UTC)

Re: Regalbeads

No one ever told me that it was important, and I'm not sure I've met anyone to whom it was especially important -- or at least, not until today. :) (It might be important to people I know who have just never mentioned it.)
[info]wolfsilveroak
Feb. 18th, 2009 12:30 pm (UTC)

Re: Regalbeads

Yeah, we never thought much about it either.

In the last 2 weeks, there's been at least 2 instances where it was this Big Deal in the person's relationship.

And no one really knows why. }:P
[info]lekook
Feb. 17th, 2009 04:42 pm (UTC)
We've been married 20 years and my books are in my office and his are in his. In my case, I read more than he does, usually in my office, and I use many of my books for reference work. It's just natural to me. We've never discussed combining or not combining them. I just don't think it matters one way or the other, or why it has anything to do with the status of a relationship.
[info]wolfsilveroak
Feb. 18th, 2009 12:29 pm (UTC)
Books that relate to my art are definately seperate, by virtue of what they ARE, and are in my Studio for that reason.

But other books, read just for pleasure, what's the point of keeping them seperate? And why is the step of combining them so important?

THat's the question no one can answer- when combining books became such a big thing in a relationship.
[info]elfwreck
Feb. 17th, 2009 05:16 pm (UTC)
I always thought "buy furniture together" as the mark of permanence, not any level of "combine objects we owned before we lived together onto a single shelf." (Books, CDs, videos, cooking pots, lasertag guns, whatever.) Anything you owned separately can be split out again if/when you split up--it's property you purchased together that cause problems--and in the case of books, movies, CDs, etc. the couple can usually just buy another copy & split the cost if they split up (or agree that only one of them cares to own a copy), but couches and dining room sets don't usually have that option. (Who gets stuck with the well-used one?)

Combining books. Feh. You know you're truly together the first time you both look at each other at three ayem and say "I promise I'll make you breakfast later if you change her diaper now."
[info]wolfsilveroak
Feb. 18th, 2009 12:27 pm (UTC)
LOL, see that's what I thought as well.

But suddenly, it's this BIG THING and no one really knows WHY it's such a big thing.
[info]zen_kitty
Feb. 18th, 2009 05:44 pm (UTC)
I can't even imagine having all of our books separated. We would need 2 libraries! LOL

I can think of so many other factors vs. combining books as a measure of commitment.

*scratches head*
[info]wolfsilveroak
Feb. 18th, 2009 05:49 pm (UTC)
Hey you! }:P

Yeah we don't get it either.
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